欲と夢と
ふと、昔友人に言われたことを思い出した。
ICU生ってみんな、雲の上を生きている。
たしかに。的を得た表現だな、と思いつついた。
…最近、泥沼の中を歩いている。研修なんて泥臭いものだ、そんなものだと思っていたけれど、なんか違う気がしつついた。
そして、分かった気がした。
最近の自分、欲、にまみれている。欲といっても、生存欲、とか生きる欲。別にお金とか名誉とかには興味はないけれど。
いろいろな会社の社長とかみていると、輝いている人たちがいる。対して多くの病院長は、臨床医していたころは輝いていただろうに…今は人相がおそらく悪くなっているんだろうな…と感じてしまう先生たちが多い。おそらく、臨床という、戦いつつも夢の中、な世界から、生死を分かつ生存欲を全開にして戦い抜かねばならないところにいくからなのではないだろうか。
で、自分。
仲間たちとこれからどう歩くのかとか、どんな医者としての道をあるこうだとか、生存欲で息も絶え絶えになっていた。
顔色とか、とても悪くなっていたと思う。
生存欲。
必要なんだけれど、その向こうにいかないといけないもの。
欲をこえて、雲の上の歩みを取り戻さないと。
欲ではなくって夢。
筋斗雲にのれる自分でありたいな。
コメント
I have to voice my respect for your kindness giving support to persons who should have help on your subject matter. Your personal dedication to passing the message all through appeared to be surprisingly valuable and has frequently allowed professionals much like me to reach their endeavors. Your entire useful information signifies much a person like me and further more to my fellow workers. Best wishes; from each one of us.
投稿者: Deanna Nienow | 2011年03月29日 20:35
Hi, Neat post. There's a problem with your site in internet explorer, would test this窶ヲ IE still is the market leader and a good portion of people will miss your magnificent writing due to this problem.
投稿者: Rhona Pensinger | 2011年04月01日 08:18
Hello there, You have done an excellent job. I窶冤l certainly digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I am sure they will be benefited from this website.
投稿者: Saturnina Goettl | 2011年04月02日 09:22
Well I definitely enjoyed studying it. This subject procured by you is very effective for accurate planning.
投稿者: Jeanice Delanoche | 2011年04月05日 07:52
Thank you for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more from this post. I am very glad to see such excellent information being shared freely out there.
投稿者: Elwanda Resenz | 2011年04月06日 12:21
What a lovely day for a 2083746! SCK was here
投稿者: 2083746 | 2011年04月08日 08:46
I wish to express some appreciation to you for rescuing me from this type of challenge. Just after browsing throughout the world-wide-web and meeting concepts which are not productive, I was thinking my entire life was well over. Living devoid of the approaches to the difficulties you've sorted out by means of your good post is a crucial case, and the kind that might have badly damaged my entire career if I had not come across your blog. That training and kindness in handling all the things was helpful. I am not sure what I would've done if I had not discovered such a step like this. I am able to at this moment look forward to my future. Thanks for your time very much for the specialized and amazing help. I won't think twice to endorse your web site to any individual who should get care about this area.
投稿者: Roseann Holtberg | 2011年04月09日 11:30
pretty handy stuff, overall I imagine this is worth a bookmark, thanks
投稿者: baby formula | 2011年04月09日 22:11
Only wanna comment on few general things, The website design and style is perfect, the articles is real excellent : D.
投稿者: information about act sat conversion | 2011年04月10日 10:27
This site appears to recieve a good ammount of visitors. How do you advertise it? It offers a nice unique twist on things. I guess having something useful or substantial to say is the most important thing.
投稿者: WellsFargo Online Banking | 2011年04月11日 14:27
Just checking out your article on my brand new iPhone , and I wanted to see if it would let me comment or if it made me go to a pc to do that. Ill check back later to see if it worked.
投稿者: funny wedding speeches | 2011年04月11日 21:06
I admire the dear information you offer on your articles. I will be able to bookmark your blog and have my youngsters take a look at up right here generally. I am relatively positive they will learn numerous new stuff here than any one else!
投稿者: Innovation training | 2011年04月11日 23:01
Simply wish to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is simply excellent and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the enjoyable work.
投稿者: biżuteria | 2011年04月13日 01:45
I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz reply as I'm looking to construct my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from. thanks
投稿者: free ipod touch 4g | 2011年04月13日 02:43
This is good stuff
投稿者: MrGreen | 2011年04月13日 09:42
קידום דפי מקוונים עושים רק בחברת קידום אתרים אמינה כמו חברת נט-סטייל . צרו עמנו קשר על מנת לרכוש שרות של קידום אתרים בגוגל בדרך הטובה ביותר.
投稿者: כלי מילות מפתח | 2011年04月14日 04:54
Pretty nice post, I was doing a google search and your site came up for foreclosures in Sanford, FL but anyway, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it, keep it up!
投稿者: Joel Veer | 2011年04月14日 05:24
What a lovely day for a 4836707! SCK was here
投稿者: 4836707 | 2011年04月15日 12:22
You made some first rate factors there. I appeared on the internet for the problem and located most people will go together with together with your website.
投稿者: Travis Credit | 2011年04月16日 01:34
Apple now has Rhapsody being an app, a amazing start off, however it is at this time affected with the wherewithal to store locally with your ipod touch, and it has any depressing 64kbps tad fee. If this modifications, it might to some extent negate this particular benefits with the Zune, though the 13 songs monthly will still be an important as well as in Microsoft zune Pass' like.
投稿者: Rozella Sada | 2011年05月22日 05:21
It's a pity you don't have a donate button! I'd definitely donate to this outstanding blog! I suppose for now i'll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group. Chat soon!
投稿者: Javier Modisett | 2011年05月23日 09:24
That is As well nice, when it comes in india hope it may make a Rocking place for youngster. hope that arrive true.
投稿者: Lashawnda Langer | 2011年05月24日 05:34
I like what you guys are up too. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I窶况e incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my website :)
投稿者: Gerri Pettijohn | 2011年05月24日 12:14
We got in this case out of Yahoo and google. That appears like a terrific document. That i comprehensively loved perusing your webblog, i shall be certain to return. We ended up saving your internet site and i also furthermore passedyour how does someone some relatives in addition. I think you will don窶冲 intellect!
投稿者: Grady Cini | 2011年05月25日 05:09
Reading a few of the comments on this blog, Id need to say To be sure with the majority.
投稿者: Shanel Branseum | 2011年05月25日 12:19
What a lovely day for a 3810440! SCK was here
投稿者: 3810440 | 2011年05月25日 21:50
Thank you for this unique post. I especially enjoyed reviewing it and ought to discuss it with everyone.
投稿者: Robert Burlock | 2011年05月26日 05:37
I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz respond as I'm looking to design my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from. thanks a lot
投稿者: Alex Bruins | 2011年05月26日 10:29
Very efficiently written story. It will be useful to anyone who usess it, including yours truly :). Keep doing what you are doing - for sure i will check out more posts.
投稿者: Cassy Mcgray | 2011年05月26日 16:33
Howdy I am so excited I found your weblog, I really found you by mistake, while I was searching on Digg for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a fantastic post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don窶冲 have time to read through it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the fantastic job.
投稿者: Mckinley Baylis | 2011年05月27日 05:53
I intended to send you this bit of note to be able to give many thanks over again for those striking basics you've provided on this page. This is so unbelievably generous of people like you to make openly what numerous people might have supplied for an ebook to generate some bucks for themselves, and in particular seeing that you might well have tried it if you considered necessary. Those basics in addition worked to provide a easy way to fully grasp that someone else have the same dream really like mine to know somewhat more when it comes to this matter. Certainly there are numerous more pleasurable opportunities up front for people who scan through your blog.
投稿者: Sina Goodrow | 2011年05月27日 18:02
There are some interesting deadlines in this article but I don窶冲 know if I see all of them middle to heart. There may be some validity however I will take hold opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we wish more! Added to FeedBurner as effectively
投稿者: Doria Knknown | 2011年05月28日 15:24
I am usually to blogging and i really admire your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I'm going to bookmark your site and keep checking for new information.
投稿者: Jasmin Imming | 2011年05月29日 01:02
Amazing! This blog looks just like my old one! It's on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Great choice of colors!
投稿者: Stanton Plante | 2011年05月29日 03:25
Normally I don't read post on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do it! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, quite nice post.
投稿者: Astrid Lavecchia | 2011年05月31日 06:09
wonderful post, very informative. I wonder why the other specialists of this sector don't notice this. You must continue your writing. I am confident, you have a great readers' base already!
投稿者: Edyth Justus | 2011年05月31日 19:27
Thank you for sharing excellent informations. Your site is so cool. I'm impressed by the details that you have on this blog. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the information I already searched everywhere and simply could not come across. What a perfect web-site.
投稿者: Delila Santellana | 2011年06月02日 20:04
Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic however , I'd figured I'd ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My blog addresses a lot of the same subjects as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you might be interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Terrific blog by the way!
投稿者: Angelo Borah | 2011年06月02日 22:54
My developer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he's tryiong none the less. I've been using WordPress on a number of websites for about a year and am nervous about switching to another platform. I have heard fantastic things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress posts into it? Any kind of help would be really appreciated!
投稿者: Issac Cumbaa | 2011年06月03日 07:50
Good blog! I really love how it is simple on my eyes and the data are well written. I am wondering how I might be notified when a new post has been made. I've subscribed to your RSS feed which must do the trick! Have a nice day!
投稿者: Sunni Longbrake | 2011年06月04日 00:39
Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the images on this blog loading? I'm trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.
投稿者: Antwan Norlander | 2011年06月04日 00:53
Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I've really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I窶冤l be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!
投稿者: Terra Stimple | 2011年06月04日 16:33
You could certainly see your skills in the work you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers like you who aren't afraid to say how they believe. Always follow your heart.
投稿者: Gwendolyn Buoy | 2011年06月05日 01:05
An attention-grabbing dialogue is value comment. I feel that it's best to write more on this topic, it may not be a taboo subject but generally people are not sufficient to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers
投稿者: Kayce Mince | 2011年06月05日 10:33
Thank you for another informative website. Where else could I get that kind of information written in such a perfect way? I have a project that I am just now working on, and I've been on the look out for such information.
投稿者: Chun Scheel | 2011年06月06日 19:24
I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.
投稿者: Malissa Convery | 2011年06月07日 14:06
I'm really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It's a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Superb work!
投稿者: Dylan Bourdon | 2011年06月08日 02:09
Wow! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It's on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!
投稿者: Brendan Walser | 2011年06月08日 08:37
The heart of your writing while appearing agreeable initially, did not really settle well with me after some time. Somewhere within the paragraphs you were able to make me a believer but only for a very short while. I nevertheless have a problem with your leaps in logic and you would do nicely to fill in all those breaks. In the event that you can accomplish that, I would certainly be fascinated.
投稿者: Lyman Dupoux | 2011年06月08日 21:11
My wife and i gotta mention which the article is going to be remarkable that will make you learned countless situations news. I had plenty of practice in my mind immediately. Appreciate your that. I think you'll will keep moving and furthermore prevent have in common innovative important information that many of us are not aware of but still.
投稿者: feb games | 2011年06月09日 14:39
Thank you for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research about this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more from this post. I am very glad to see such wonderful information being shared freely out there.
投稿者: Shanelle Heiman | 2011年06月10日 00:46
It's the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I've read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or advice. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read more things about it!
投稿者: Fae Auprey | 2011年06月10日 11:51
Hello. impressive job. I did not imagine this. This is a impressive story. Thanks!
投稿者: Dottie Bauerle | 2011年06月10日 13:14
Simply put i really tell that your document is usually spectacular which help us learned a lot of products press. I purchased lots view i believe at this instant. I appreciate this method. I think you'll can continue to keep getting together with prevent portion completely new facts that we are not aware of even so.
投稿者: Willena Liem | 2011年06月10日 16:11
Heya just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren't loading properly. I'm not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I've tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same outcome.
投稿者: Joey Strathmann | 2011年06月11日 01:05
I do like the manner in which you have presented this specific matter and it does give me a lot of fodder for consideration. Nevertheless, from everything that I have observed, I simply hope when the actual remarks stack on that individuals remain on point and don't get started upon a soap box of some other news du jour. Still, thank you for this exceptional piece and whilst I can not really go along with this in totality, I regard your viewpoint.
投稿者: Rickie Fields | 2011年06月11日 03:59
Hey very nice site!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I'll bookmark your web site and take the feeds also窶ヲI'm happy to find so many useful information here in the post, we need work out more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .
投稿者: Alverta Archangel | 2011年06月11日 04:12
This design is wicked! You certainly know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost...HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!
投稿者: Casimira Voeks | 2011年06月11日 08:47